An Ode to Moms: It’s Not Hormones!

CHEERS TO ALL THE MOMS NEEDING A GOOD LAUGH & A GLASS OF WINE

Are you on your period? It must be postpartum depression. Mom is going through menopause—watch out! We've all heard these powerful phrases pointing to the emotional meltdowns of women like us, losing our minds all because of our "crazy hormones."

We secretly imagine pasting a picture of each person making such comments on a dartboard. (You can use your own wild imagination to finish that story.)

The medical world views menopause as an imbalance, a disease even. Books are written, articles are posted, creams and supplements are sold, and women are made to feel like our feelings and emotions are caused by these little hormones no one can see. Just blame it on the hormones, right? Then we can apply yams to our wrists, pop a pill, and feel better.

I call bullshit on all of that! It's not the hormones! We're tired of taking on everything for everyone 24/7 and feeling mentally and physically exhausted. It's that simple. It's not us—it's them!

OWNING OUR INSANITY

I know I talk openly about taking responsibility for our mental insanity, deconditioning our minds, and admitting when we cross lines. It's liberating to practice forgiveness of others and ourselves. However, can't we just admit when other people are the problem? Aren't we also the subject of other people's projections?

Women are supposed to feel like being a mom is the best thing that will ever happen to us. What a precious gift, a blessing, and we'll feel ecstatic joy the moment we lay eyes on our newborn. There's truth to that. I've had four children, and each birth marks a moment of unconditional love I'll never forget.

THE WRATH NO ONE WARNS YOU ABOUT

But no one prepares us for the wrath coming down the pipeline. Kids are not innocent. Why are they painted this way? Maybe it's to make us feel guilty the moment we despise them. They each come in with their own little egos, insecurities, needs, and personalities that can be extremely challenging to manage.

Maybe the so-called postpartum mom who's stuck in bed, lying under the covers, depressed, and crying all day is just terrified of what is going to happen to her life! The enormous responsibility of watching over another little human can be overwhelming. Managing multiple people becomes a job on top of the other job you already have.

THE MENSTRUAL EXCUSE

What about our monthly cycle? When your husband makes that snide comment after you mention your period arrived: "Oh, that explains it!"

That explains what, exactly? You think getting angry for putting stained coffee mugs into the dishwasher that will never come out clean is because of my period? Um, no—it's because that is pure stupidity! See, it's not hormones, ladies. It's our intolerance for our family members not taking the extra step we do to get things done!

MENOPAUSE: THE BILLION-DOLLAR “PROBLEM”

Then there's those of us who are peri-menopausal or menopausal. This takes the cake! Why are we acting like this isn't a normal part of life? Why is getting our period normal, yet losing our period has turned into a billion-dollar industry promoting the process as a problem?

Why is yelling at our narcissistic teenagers during menopause a bad thing? Am I yelling because I'm menopausal? Absolutely not! The know-it-alls are ruthless in high school. They don't listen to anything we suggest, but they have no problem needing a free therapy session over a relationship going nowhere two weeks from now.

They cut you off, don't speak to you when they're angry, threaten to move out—be my guest, I'll turn your bedroom into the meditation room I've been planning while you scream at me—but they always come clawing back for money, food, clothing, and the sporting equipment they must have. To quote my favorite aunt, "They need you more than you need them." Isn't that the truth!

PRAISE NO MORE PERIODS!

It's natural our bodies start losing hormones to end the cycle of procreation. And thank God for that! It's truly amazing that we don't have to give birth when we are 70. Can you imagine starting diapers all over again, breastfeeding, vomiting and diarrhea causing five daily outfit changes, the years of school ahead, forced parent interactions, principal emails, and the graduations ahead of you at that age? Hell no!

We should be grateful we lose a period. None of us needs to deal with that forever. Thanks, but no thanks! Let's not blame everything on our roller-coaster ride of hormonal imbalances. They could take blood at any given time and get a different reading anyway. Who cares? I don't!

THE HARD TIME WE’VE SERVED

I have spent 21 years committed to my kids. I have given them the tools that I feel will guide them into the world to become mediocre humans like the rest of us. We're not special. We all have issues, problems that arise, and shit that hits the fan, leaving us completely incapable of moving forward.

But you know what else we have? We have each other. We have laughter. We have shared experiences that are gold to wake us up and inspire us to be the women we are destined to be. Why not turn the moments we think our kids don't appreciate us—when they hold immature grudges, refusing to speak to us—into precious moments for ourselves? Isn't that what we constantly complain about? Not having enough "me" time?

FREEDOM AWAITS

So, the next time one of your pride and joys decides to disconnect from you, take it as a blessing. Turn inward and focus on the life you want to live. Connect to Spirit—the Spirit that has been M.I.A for years now—and see where life is leading you next. That's what I'm learning to do: getting a grip after the a-holes grow up! The kids will leave the nest, and the shock of being the center of our own universe returns.

We've put in hard time behind the prison walls, ladies! Now, let’s break out of jail, paint our faces like Mel Gibson in Braveheart, and become the free spirits each one of us is meant to be. I imagine printing this article, dressing it in an eclectic stylish frame, and gifting it to each one of my children when they have their first child. Maybe then, we can share a lovely glass of wine, understand one another, and laugh until we cry.

RECLAIM YOUR SPARK!—Are you exhausted from parenting? Feel like you've lost your connection to Spirit? Grab a copy of my free guide: Busting the Bliss Myth—5 Shifts That Actually Wake You Up. Tune into my weekly podcast, Live Like Eden, for down-to-earth, real talk with a splash of humor as we navigate the finding our spirit together.